Before we say ‘I do’….

I am quick to admit that I am one of those girls who has dreamed of her wedding day since she could talk. I have clipped out images from bridal magazines, oohed and aahed in bridal shop windows, and watched every reality wedding related show I could find on the style network. Thanks to the internet, there are now oh, about a million wedding websites and blogs updated daily (people more dedicated than myself). Several of which, I have bookmarked and check religiously everyday. Looking at the dreamy images and thinking of my own big day. Taking inspiration and ideas to make all my own. It’s literally a never ending resource center for those who take the time to utilize it.

However, I am very quickly (Okay, so, maybe not so quickly. It’s been almost a year since I’ve been engaged and all of this madness started) becoming aware of how this might not be such a good thing. Of how my “big day” might not end up being all it’s cracked up to be. It’s no secret that weddings are expensive to begin with. And I think that Wil and I have done a pretty good job of cutting costs, of doing-it-ourselves, and of making sacrifices. But where does that leave you? Looking at pictures on a website of a day that, more than likely, won’t come close to resembling your own. Cutting out some of the more important things (to me, anyway), like the videography, and seriously scaling back the photography? Cutting out the alcohol from the reception dinner?

We’ve found a place that we want to have the wedding at, in Galveston, TX (yes, the wedding is now in TX, not DC-more on that later). Everything is perfect, except for one thing: the reception space is tiny. While I know we’re going to be a small group, I plan on dancing the night away in my Vera Wang and taking millions of pictures. I’m not convinced that this is possible in the small space we were given for that part of the day. We’re basically maxed out on our budget as it is with this particular space (it’s actually almost $1000 cheaper than another space we looked at and loved just as much), and that’s not including the photography, or a cinematographer (which I want but haven’t covinced Wil yet that we need). So do we just not have those things?

I guess the point I’m very poorly trying to make here, is that a lot of these sites, while great resources, actually are shaping up to be not as helpful in the long run. It’s gotten to the point now, where it’s almost more depressing than anything because I look at the pictures of these weddings, and I know that that’s not what mine will look like. Even with all of the d.i.y. projects I currently have underway. I just don’t know how couples make it happen. And it’s making me second guess the entire process. Why shell out big bucks to basically rent out a room for five hours that nearly 40 people will be crammed into just staring at each other? I think I’m being a bit dramatic, but you get the picture. What’s a girl to do?

The wedding date was set. Then postponed. And now it’s finally, officially, set again. (Hopefully for the last time!) Our brand new, shiny date is: June 18th, 2011. After Memorial day, before Father’s Day. Hopefully it doesn’t rain….

Oh, that puts us at 14 months out, FYI. (And there’s so much left to do!)

I’ve recently come to a realization about myself. I like belts. And sashes. And basically every wedding gown that I’ve fallen head over heels for (yes, including my very own Vera) have some sort of belt/sash/something at the waist. So is it any surprise that I’ve become obsessed with a certain sash and been scouring the internet for it? No. No, it’s not.

My wedding gown is called Swiss, it has a built in sash (it’s sewn on the sides by the bust and wraps around my waist about 8 times) that ties into a bow in the back. While standing in the dress looking in the mirror, I can’t help but think that something’s missing. I’ve tried tying the bow in the front, off to the side a little, but it doesn’t work. The fabric isn’t structured enough for it to stay put. I thought about doing a bigger, statement necklace, but have yet to find anything that I truly love that I don’t think would like ridiculous on my smaller frame.

Then I saw it. The Audrey sash. Those of you who are like me, and are constantly looking at gowns, especially Vera’s, need no introduction to the amazingness that is the Audrey dress/sash combination. For the rest of you, I’ll briefly explain. The Audrey is a popular mermaid style lace gown with lots of layers that’s as ethereal as it is sophisticated. And would easily work beautifully for a backyard garden wedding as it would for a grand cathedral or swanky hotel. The sash, however, is pure whimsy all the way. Organza and tulle flowers bunched together on a creamy velvet ribbon. Definitely a must have item.

Upon deciding that this is what I’ve been missing, I sent out searching wedding blogs and forums, trying to see if anyone was selling theirs. While there were a few, the prices were completely out of my range. I understand that the dress itself is expensive (roughly $13,000), and that the sash is as well (about $600), but I just simply can’t pay that much for, well, organza and ribbon. The least I saw it going for was on ebay for $300, which is a steal for half the price of a brand new one. Still too much for me.

So, as I do with just about everything else, I’m going to make my own. My plan is to try this weekend. I will post pictures if I’m successful, as well as post the breakdown of how much it will cost me to make. My goal is to come in under $35 for everything. Now I have to learn how to make organza flowers….

Alterations.

Those little hidden extra fees you have to pay once the dress comes in. Well, their not really hidden, but some people don’t explain them very well. A lot of people seem to think their free, or included in the cost of dress. Nothing is included in the cost of the dress except for the dress. That’s it.

I, for one, think this whole situation is crazy. Even after working a bridal salon. You’re paying a lot for a dress, and then you have to pay even more once you get it. Some people think it’s a scam (my father, for one), that dresses are made too big on purpose so that you have to alter them. But, not every bridal salon makes a lot of money off of alterations. Depending on where you go, the seamstress is the one whose making the money, not the shop, and not the designer of the gown. For chain stores, this is different, and they do make a killing off of the alterations. But for smaller shops, they don’t.

For example, the shop I worked at, our seamstress wasn’t there everyday. And the most I ever saw anyone pay for their alterations (including the hem, bustle, taking in the sides, and whatever else) was about $400. Now, while that seems like a lot, it’s nothing compared to what some other places charge. Another salon charges more than that for just the bustle, with the total alterations bill coming out in the thousands. How is this possible? How can you expect someone to pay that after they’ve just paid thousands for the dress alone?

Lots of salons don’t want to admit that there’s anything going on in terms of the recession. But we are in a recession, and while it’s true that people will always get married, it’s not true that they will always spend the same amount. I just think that alterations are something that definitely need to be brought up when the bride is purchasing the dress, not after. She needs to be aware of how much it’ll cost up front. And I recommend shopping around. I know I will for mine. I plan on going to several seamstresses and discussing with them what needs to be done, and getting an estimate. You have the right to be informed, but it’s up to you to do so.

If the salon quotes you a price that you don’t think is fair, talk to them about it. I’m not saying to ask for a discount, but you could at least find out why it is the price it is. Maybe your bustle is very complicated, or the hem will take longer because there are several layers. It may be that it’s just because of the dress, and it’s something you’ll run into wherever you go. Either way, it’s best to find out first. Because once they start working on it, you have to pay, no matter what. And don’t forget, you’re also paying for the labor. So if you want a crazy bustle with 60 points, it’s going to be expensive. Think about what’s most important to you and go from there.

My wedding dress is here!!!

First, let me apologize for my disappearance. Since postponing the wedding, there really hasn’t been that much to talk about. And rather than bore you with my recent conversations with Wil, “Well what do you think about this?”, I figured I would just wait until I had some news to share.

And speaking of, my dress is here! It has arrived finally! If you don’t remember how I purchased my dress, I’ll refresh your memory quickly. I purchased my gown off of ebay from a woman who ended up not wearing it, and buying a different dress. She purchased it off the rack as a sample. It has never been worn or altered. It is a Vera Wang, the style is called Swiss. And I got it for $900! Not bad, right?

So I’ve been worried this whole time that I wouldn’t like it. Worried that I would hate the color, or the style, or that it would be gigantic on me. After all, it was a sample, and it’s a size 10. I usually wear a 0-2 in normal clothes, and a 4 in wedding gowns. I had reason to be nervous. But when I pulled the dress out of it’s lovely garment bag, I breathed a sign of relif. I loved it. I quickly changed into it, and was actually nervous about the size for a different reason. It was a little snug on my hips trying to get it on! I’m assured that Vera’s sizing is different, and smaller, than even typically wedding gown sizing. Sure.

Needless to say, I am very pleased with my choice. Now I just need to get started on the alterations! Yay! And find my shoes, and my jewelry, and a hairpiece, and make my veil…..

As you may have noticed, I’m a bit obsessed with shoes. The idea of picking out my wedding shoes is very exciting, but frustrating at the same time. I thought I had them picked out (the Kate Spade style Maggie that I’ve raved on and on about), until I saw a pair of Christian Louboutin sandals. My best friend and I agreed that the Louboutin’s are the way to go for sure. Here’s a pic of the Louboutin’s:

With a price tag higher than that of my beloved Kate Spade’s, I have to say that I’m extremely frustrated by how expensive shoes in general are. But last night, I found a solution to this situation. On the blog www.lovemaegan.com, she has posted a tutorial on how to make these beauties. She used a basic pair of strappy black sandals that she already owned, and made and attached the petals herself. So smart! It leaves me kicking myself, asking, “Why didn’t I think of that?!” Seriously, why didn’t I? I’m all about d.i.y., and for whatever reason, I didn’t think about making my own shoes. Or, at least decorating them myself. All I need is some velcro and some organza fabric. I positively can’t wait to do this project! I will post the budget breakdown as well as the step by step when I get around to starting this. I have to find cheap white strappy sandals, first

P.S.- What’s even better than this? www.lovemaegan.com also has a d.i.y. tutorial on how to make a matching petal clutch. Loveliness.

I’ve always known that I wanted to have my wedding outdoors, and that I wanted a family style sit down dinner. As I’ve grown up, my style has definitely matured and has become more, let’s say Anthropologie inspired. I have to admit it, I’m a sucker for anything weathered, whimsical, romantic, shabby chic, charming, warm, and inviting (but who isn’t?). I haven’t been able to figure out how to incorporate all of these things, along with our travel inspiration, and not have it be too girly. I definitely want Wil to be fully represented in every part of the wedding. Here are some examples of what I’d like to accomplish with our table for the reception:

I love the bright blue mixed with the greens and the whites.

I love everything about this picture.

I love the idea of painting the table rather than using table linens.

The last photo is so cute. I was originally going to make the table linens myself, but I like this idea much better. I could find a few tables at a thrift store, or have my Dad make them, and then we could paint them. It would eliminate the cost of having to buy tons of fabric that I would then probably never use for anything again, as well as the cost of having to rent tables. This all depends on where we have the reception, I know. But I just love how homey it will feel to have a nice sit down dinner at one big table, especially if it’s a table that we’ve built ourselves!

Which one of us studied graphic design for a year? Apparently not me.

Wil designed these beauties all by himself, along with the rsvp cards and info cards for the reception. I’m thinking about ordering some irish linen thread in orange to glue around the edges rather than just having the border printed on. The blue background will be card stock to which the invitation will be glued. We’re thinking about using vintage maps as envelopes, but that idea is still up in the air. Especially since I found some awesome vintage envelopes with stamps for sale on etsy.com. We’ll be sure to keep you updated on how that goes once it gets closer!

I’ve been on an accessories kick lately. So continue with that trend, here are some pieces that I absolutely love from Anthropologie:

Both of these pieces are girly and romantic. I especially love the Odette Cuff, but I’m a huge fan of anything that’s textured and frilly. The pricing isn’t terrible on them. The Odette Cuff is only $48, while the Toasted Meringue Cuff is a bit steeper at $198.

On my last post about shoes, I discussed a lovely little pair of Kate Spade’s that I had fallen madly in love with. These babies are perfect because of their exact 2″ heel height, as my fiance is only 2″ taller than me, and with dress shoes will be about 3.5″ taller than me. Sadly, after posting the picture and visiting my local Kate Spade store, it was brought to my attention that they do not, in fact, come in white or ivory. Only black or green. Of course, I find the prefect shoes, and I can’t even get them in white!

However! This morning as I sat down to write this post, which was not going to be about Kate Spade shoes, I clicked on her website, and to my amazement, there they are! My shoes, in white!

I wanted to jump off my couch for joy! I’m still not excited about the $275 price tag, but I think I’ll have to make the exception. These shoes are everything that I’ve been looking for. My wedding will be in June, so I wanted something sandal-like, and I had to have some sort of flower on the toe. These are perfection in every way. And, best of all, they will compliment my dress and go with my overall girly theme (not for the wedding, but for myself. yes, I have a theme for myself for the wedding, don’t ask.)

Now, while I love the Maggie shoe, I also found another pair on Kate Spade’s website that I like a lot as well. I’ve pretty fond of ballerina flats, and have considered those for my wedding as well. Anyone whose looked for cute wedding flats knows this as well as I do: There are no cute wedding flats! None! I don’t know why designers seem to think that if you’re wearing flats that you don’t want to look fashionable. Take a look at these pretty little things:

The style of this shoe is Natalia, and the heel height is a low 0.5″. These are actually pretty stylish, and would look great with several different styles of gowns, and would work year round.

And now to the real reason for this post. A pair of flats from Anthropologie. These flats would absolutely be my wedding shoes if I was getting married during the winter. They are so dainty and feminine.

There are little crystals and pearls all over them, and the dark grey color would look beautiful for a winter wedding. They would be a great touch to dress up your feet without sacrificing style.